Why Potential Clients Ghost (and what to do next)

and why it’s often not about you at all - even when it feels like it in the moment 

If you run your own business, you know this feeling.

You’ve booked a potential client in for an initial call, you’ve had a great conversation and are already invested in working with them. They seemed excited, said all of the right things and maybe even talked about booking in with you to get started.

You leave the call, excited and ready to get to work - spending time agonising over the perfect follow up email or message only to hit send.

And nothing

No reply

No booking 

Not even a quick “sorry, not right now” message Just the business equivalent of being left on “read” and wondering where it all went wrong. 

If you have had this happen to you, and wondered why - you're really not alone. I would go as far to say that this is a right of passage as a business owner. 

But, it doesn’t stop the sting when it happens and it can be difficult (especially in the beginning) to not take it personally and make it mean something about your skills or abilities as a Business Owner. 

So why does this happen, and what can we do as Business Owners to reduce how often it happens (or at least how much of an impact it has on your confidence). 

Why clients ghost: the behavioural truth 

Let me start by saying “Ghosting” is a human experience not just for us small business owners - just ask anyone who has ever stepped foot into the Online Dating world - very quickly you realise it’s a universal experience.

Humans are hard wired to avoid discomfort. Making any decision, especially one that involves money, time, effort, commitment or vulnerability is an uncomfortable experience. 

Instead of saying yes, or no our brains often pick the middle option: doing nothing. 

In behaviour language we would call this - decision avoidance. 

Doing nothing, and avoiding making a definitive decision is a round about way to control what feels most uncomfortable - making the decision to make changes vs making the decision to stay where you are. 

Join this together with real life pressures, financial worries, busy lives, other commitments and distractions is the perfect recipe for a no response. 

The 4 Most Common reasons potential clients disappear

1 - They aren’t ready yet (which is completely valid) 

Financially, emotionally or logistically the timing isn't right. This is where the Cycle of Change comes in (a behavioural model used in human Coaching and psychology). People move through stages of change: pre-contemplation (not even thinking about it consciously), contemplation (starting to be aware and considering it), preparation (getting ready/exploring options), action (doing) and maintenance. 

Cycle of Change

If they’re in contemplation or preparation, they’re weighing up their options and figuring out what they want or need. On your call, they might have edged momentarily into “action” that spark of "yes, let’s do it but then lost their motivation, after the conversation. 

But something important to remember is this isn’t a reflection on you or your abilities, it’s just where they are in their own process. Whilst there are things we can do to help people make decisions (provide a strong, clear follow up - help reduce decision fatigue) we can’t rush people through this process. 

Often, people will go away and come back weeks, months or sometimes even longer once they have got to a point of recognising that something needs to change. 

2 - Decision Fatigue 

Sometimes it’s not about you, or the services you offered them at all - a lot of the time it’s the sheer number of decisions they are already juggling in their own lives. 

Decision fatigue is a cognitive state where the brain's ability to make choices depletes often influenced by stress, energy levels and all of the day to day responsibilities we each carry.

One thing we can do as Business Owners, is to provide as much clarity as possible that enables potential clients to have the information they need, to make their decision as easily as possible. Making small changes to how we have our client calls, and providing follow up information can make a massive difference into how easy we can make it for people to say yes, or no. 

3 - There wasn’t enough trust built 

This one can be tricky, especially if you have spoken to someone who was saying all of the right things during the call itself.

But here’s the nuance: trust isn’t just about them trusting you. It’s also about them trusting themselves.

They might believe you can help them… but quietly doubt whether they have the time, energy, discipline, or ability to follow through with the work.

That fear can cause them to hesitate, stall, or ghost entirely.

If trust isn’t strong on both sides, the moment they hit doubt or discomfort, they’ll retreat even if your offer is perfect for them.

4 - Life happened…

The last reason is sometimes it’s none of these things. Sometimes life just got busy, they got distracted or had other priorities take over (school holidays, an unwell family member or an unexpected bill just to name a few)

It doesn’t always mean that they don’t still want or need your help, they might just have other competing priorities that have meant that coming back to you has fallen off their radar.

Our job as business owners is to stay on their radar, leave the door open and let them know how they can work with us, without pressuring them into making a decision now. 

What not to do, when a client ghosts you

As tempting as this is....

When you’ve had a great conversation with someone, and you're already invested in helping them. 

It might be tempting to: 

• Make assumptions about why they haven’t replied 

• Assume no reply, automatically means you will never hear from them again 

• Write a social media post on your business page about time wasters.. 

• Chase them or send slightly passive aggressive follow up emails 

• Let it get to your head, and influence future conversations 

• Doubt yourself, or overthink every interaction 

What you could do instead (in the future) 

Whilst potential clients dropping off can be frustrating especially when you are busy, there are practical ways to reduce how often it happens ahead of initial calls, during and afterwards. 

Shorten your response times - The longer someone waits to hear from you, the more likely doubt creeps in, momentum fizzles or they go elsewhere. If you are short on time - a well written automated email response can make a huge difference and buy you a little bit of time. 

Communicate clearly - Reduce overthinking, or trying to fill in the gaps where possible. Outline in your initial email, and during your conversations how you work, and what they can expect at every step of the journey with you.

Lead them kindly, and clearly through the process reducing barriers as much as possible along the way. 

Give space - Nobody wants to feel rushed into a decision, and this can often be where people will appear to “back out” suddenly. Let them know how you work, and that you will follow up with them after the call so that they have time to think it through leaving the door open, without trying to force people through it too quickly.  

A clear, well written follow up email can make a huge difference in avoiding people completely dropping off the face of the planet, even if their answer is not just now, it will let you know where you stand (and avoid overthinking or wasting emotional energy or time). 

Keep this one thing in mind (when you are ghosted)

It can sting, but it doesn’t have to knock your confidence completely. Being ghosted doesn’t mean you have failed as a Business Owner or that you did something wrong before, during or after the contact with your potential client.

There could be a whole host of reasons - why they didn’t come back when they said they would. 

But we can’t control other people, we can control our thoughts, beliefs and actions and what we do next and keep moving forwards.

If this keeps happening in your business

When potential clients ghost you, it’s not just annoying. It eats away at your time, your headspace, and (if you’re honest) your confidence.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

This is one of those sneaky gaps I close with clients all the time. We dig into what’s really happening in those enquiry conversations, the follow-ups, and the quiet gaps in between because there is no point pouring all of your energy into marketing, if you are losing people at the first, or second hurdle on your booking process. 

Instead, we look at how to:

• Make responding feel easier, so it actually gets done quickly.

• Create follow-ups that feel human, not pushy.

• Spot and remove the moments that send potential clients drifting away.

• Build simple, repeatable ways of handling enquiries that save brain space for the work you want to be doing.

  
  

Because when your process works with you (and with your brain), you stop losing the right clients in the cracks without burning yourself out in the process or constantly questioning your abilities as a Business Owner. 

If this is a gap you know you need to close, send me an email hello@coachingbysashalouisesmith.com  and we can figure out what’s going wrong (and how to fix it) together.