5 Personal Boundaries & how to set them (with examples)
- Sasha Louise Smith
- Feb 22
- 9 min read
Updated: May 24
Why Boundaries matter in Business [and why you might be struggling with yours]
Let's be honest - running a Business is demanding. Most days we wear multiple hats at any given moment, and can quickly feel pushed and pulled in every direction at once while trying to stand firm, and focused on what actually needs done.
Most of us started our Businesses because we love what we do, not because we enjoy feeling over stretched, overwhelmed and pulled between competing priorities.
This is where Boundaries come in - they are there to create a structure, and a decision making process that helps makes running our businesses feel more sustainable and fulfilling.
Without them we can quickly get lost, and swept up in other peoples agenda's and before we know it we are working every weekend, and evening without a clear end in sight.
The number one reason I hear from clients as a barrier to setting Boundaries - is figuring out what they are in the first place, and feeling able to share those Boundaries with other people without feeling guilty, or worrying about possible confrontation or missing opportunities of future Business. But it is possible to set Boundaries kindly, we just need to go digging to figure out what they are first.
What are Personal Boundaries?
I like to think of Boundaries in two ways, personal Boundaries and relational Boundaries. Personal Boundaries are the decisions and “rules” we choose to live by sometimes we are aware of them consciously, and other times sub-consciously.
Personal Boundaries are made up of many things - early influences, our lived experiences, cultural and social input. As well as personality, beliefs, values and priorities.
Relational Boundaries are then how we choose to communicate and convey those boundaries externally to the people around us.
Before we can even think about communicating our boundaries effectively relationally/with others it can be really helpful to pause and ask what actually are my boundaries?
Boundaries generally speaking are broken down into
Physical [including sexual]
Time
Emotional
Financial
Intellectual
Material
For the purposes of this Blog here are the Five Boundary Types I will be covering:
Time Boundaries
Emotional Boundaries
Intellectual Boundaries
Communication Boundaries
Financial Boundaries
1 - Time Boundaries
Time boundaries are pretty self explanatory - it’s about thinking about how you want to spend your time within your Business and then communicating that clearly with your clients, and the people you work with. If we aren’t clear on our Time Boundaries, it can lead to us not protecting our time, and then becoming frustrated about not being able to spend time in other areas of our life that we care about.
Examples of Healthy Time Boundaries:
Having set days, and hours that we choose to work - making those clear to clients and the people we work with.
Having automated email responses that tell people when they can expect a response back from us.
Communicating with clients about how/when they can contact us outside of our sessions/classes, and how often we will respond.
Having time where we aren’t available to our clients to either recharge, or to work on our businesses without interruption.
If you are in the first few years of running your Business, and have more time flexibility. Having stronger Time Boundaries might feel less important if you are just trying to get as many clients as you can in the door.
There is nothing wrong with being flexible, but there might come a time where being that flexible and accommodating has an impact on your capacity and ability to do other things. Boundaries are flexible, they can and do change over time so it's important to revisit them regularly and ask ourselves
Is this still working for me, or do I need to change something?
2 - Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries help us create a separation between our self worth, and personal identity with our external results as Business Owners. This is especially relevant for anyone who works in a service based business, where you might be working closely with clients who are experiencing high levels of stress themselves - helping to protect against long term compassion fatigue.
Emotional Boundaries, tie closely in with our individual levels of “capacity” which can fluctuate over time, ensuring that we stay aware of how full our buckets are to guard against overwhelm, and potential burnout.
Examples of Healthy Emotional Boundaries
Recognising the difference between being responsible to our clients, but not for our clients. Our job is to show up, and offer the best service we can, but we can’t control what they then choose to do with that information.
Being aware of our own emotions, and using them as signposts to help us make changes that protect our wellbeing - rather than pushing them down continually.
Learning that we can’t help every single person who comes to us, no matter how much we might want to help them.
Becoming able to hold other people's emotional experience, without taking it on as our own.
My absolute favorite Book on Emotions is Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
3 - Intellectual Boundaries
Intellectual boundaries are one of the less talked about types of Boundaries. This is where we recognise that our own opinions, education, experiences and perspectives might differ from those around us.
It can be difficult to manage when we come across people online, clients, family members or peers who see things from a different perspective than we do.
Examples of Healthy Intellectual Boundaries
Learning to become okay with other people having a different perspective without forcing our opinions on them, or allowing them to force their opinions on us.
Standing in your own belief systems, and also being open to learning new beliefs.
Respecting where we are in our own journey, and where other people are in theirs.
Being able to agree to disagree with other people who think differently - even when it challenges our personal beliefs.
A frequent example I hear from clients is where they see content online that conflicts with their own experience, education and values.
It can be really tempting to get sucked in to online debates over ethics and perspectives but I always ask - is this the best use of your time and energy right now?
Instead of trying to change other peoples perspectives (who may not be open to yours) instead you could focus your energy on. 1) Working with people who already value your perspective, and experience
2) Creating Content that helps to educate people on your perspective (without being pushy)
3) Increasing your credibility and authority as an expert
4) Demonstrating what's possible
People don't like to be told they are wrong, sometimes the best approach is planting seeds that help shift perspectives over time. That way you can protect your energy, and make a difference to the people who are ready to hear what you have to say now.
4 - Communication Boundaries
Communication boundaries are a lot of the time the bridge between our personal and relational boundaries. Done well, communication boundaries help set clear expectations and minimise miscommunication between us, and the people around us.
Examples of Healthy Communication Boundaries
Having clear Terms & Conditions that are personalised to you, your business and how you work to help set expectations from the beginning.
Communicating your availability ahead of time to prevent being asked to do something you don’t feel able or comfortable doing.
Having times where you are unable to be reached, giving you room to rest, and recharge without always feeling on “call”.
Deciding and communicating how/when you want to be contacted
If the thought of saying no feels uncomfortable - learn how to say no without saying no (or feeling guilty) here.
5 - Financial Boundaries
If you run your own Business, no matter how much you love what you do - your Business is there to provide an income for you and your family. It can be difficult to find the balance between wanting to help others, and needing to charge for your time and skillset. Examples of Healthy Financial Boundaries
Pricing your services fairly, making sure you are compensated for your time.
Knowing your numbers, and keeping accurate records of your income vs expenses
Recognising that not everyone will be able to afford your prices and staying strong in the face of push back.
Having clear terms and conditions, and expectations around when and how you want to be paid
Noticing a few of your own boundary leaks as you read?
The Boundaries Toolkit is a free guide I created for business owners who care deeply about their work but are tired of constantly over giving, overbooking, or feeling overwhelmed.
Inside, you’ll find prompts, examples, and steps to help you start to get clear on your boundaries and begin to take steps that protect your time, energy and capacity.
Setting Boundaries at work, and with clients
We all know that we each have limited time, energy and capacity available to us and every single day we are faced with competing priorities in our Businesses. Which is why it's so important to catch any time, energy or emotional "leaks" in our buckets as quickly as possible.
The easiest and least confrontational way to share our Boundaries at work, and with clients is to set expectations from the beginning as soon as we become aware of what they are.
5 Small but effective steps you can take to communicate your Boundaries (without confrontation)
Updating your Terms & Conditions to reflect changes
Creating a Welcome Email/Document that sets expectations on "how you work"
Updating your Website to include opening hours and preferred contact point
Creating an automated email response that tells people when they can expect to hear from you
Time blocking off your non-negotiables in the diary ahead of time to prevent double booking over them.
These are just a few possible examples of ways you could begin to make small but effective changes to make your Boundaries more visible, and easier for people to follow. The important thing to remember is that most people aren't intentionally trying to "push" your Boundaries, most of the time they just don't know what they are unless we tell them.
Which area of your Boundaries currently feels the Wobbliest?
0%Time Boundaries
0%Emotion Boundaries
0%Intellectual Boundaries
0%Communication Boundaries
You can vote for more than one answer.
Unhealthy Boundaries vs Healthy Boundaries
Like most things our Boundaries are fluid, and flexible and they will change and fluctuate over time. You might recognise yourself as someone who currently has loose boundaries and that isn't inherently wrong, it might just be a signpost that they could do with a review, to support you as the human behind your Business. Sometimes what happens if that we begin with Loose Boundaries, and either in an effort to "fix" them or as a result of feeling undervalued or underappreciated. We might swing to the opposite end of the Spectrum and find ourself with very rigid or fixed boundaries.
There is always extreme ends of everything, where possible we are aiming to be somewhere in the middle, and the first step towards that is learning and making a note of what our Boundaries are.
Exercises for setting Boundaries
If you are a Business Owner with people pleasing tendencies, it's vital to build healthier boundaries and prevent the risk of overcommitting yourself. Here are a few things you can do to help you establish your Personal Boundaries, so that you can communicate them with those around you.
Define your "Non negotiables" specifically in relation to your Business. For example are you open to working weekends, or is protecting that time important to you?
Look for ways to set clearer expectations from the beginning - consider updating your Terms & Conditions as an example.
Pay attention to your emotions - if there is certain situations in your Business that cause you frustration, ask why is that? Our emotions can be a sign post to where things might need to change in the future.
Regularly check in with the direction you are headed, what is important to you as an individual and ultimately what you want from your Business.
It's important to remember if you do want to change any of your Boundaries, either personally or relationally you don't have to do it overnight, or all at once. Pick one thing from the suggested list above, and make a start somewhere - you can come back to it at any time.
If you know you need support to get to grips with the numbers, a handle on your capacity and have support to untangle yourself from your Business then I am here to help.
How to get more help
Identifying and setting boundaries in your business is just one part of the work I do with Coaching and Mentoring clients.
Together, we take a proactive, personalised approach to:
Reshaping your services, pricing and customer journey
Building systems that protect your time and energy
Making your business sustainable, profitable, and values-aligned
Whether you’re ready to dive deeper with Mentoring, or you’re just starting to explore these ideas on your own…
👉 You can download The Boundaries Toolkit here – a free guide to help you spot where your boundaries are being stretched and start making small, meaningful shifts.
👉 Or head to my Business Mentoring page to learn how we can work together 1:1.
You don’t have to keep pushing through. There’s another way to run your business and I’d love to show you what that could look like.
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